"The truth can only be recalled, never invented."

「真相只能憶起，不能被創造。」

 

　　當我們提到瑪麗蓮夢露（Marilyn Monroe）時，不外乎是與性感迷人、流行標誌或八卦緋聞這些印象連結在一起；而鮮少有人知道，她其實非常熱衷於文學和寫作。

 

　　瑪麗蓮夢露對文學並非三分鐘熱度，而是堅持不懈地熱愛。她的個人藏書至少就有四百本，書單裡除了杜思妥也夫斯基和約翰‧密爾頓（John Milton）的經典著作，也不乏海明威和傑克‧魯亞克的當代文學作品。當沒有拍攝行程的時候，夢露還會去加州大學洛杉磯分校（UCLA）的夜間班攻讀文學和歷史課程。然而，夢露標誌性的公眾形象「性感活潑的金髮女郎」長存於世界，這和引領她走向生命盡頭的內心世界，形成了鮮明強烈的對比。

 

　　她將零碎和詩詞般的文字，潦草地塗寫在筆記本和活頁紙上，成為一張張私密詩作；距夢露辭世的近半世紀後，出版商整裡集結她未曾發表過的詩、筆記和書信，出版了《Fragments: Poems, Intimate Notes, Letters》一書。該書揭露了夢露複雜又感性的一面，她深深凝視著自己內心，同時熱切地思想關於他人和世界。而字裡行間揭示的重點，就是夢露人盡皆知的公眾形象，與其背後脆弱不堪的私人生活之間的悲劇性疏離：她被這個世界誤解，渴望能被真實地看見。

 

　　溫柔細膩、痛苦而深邃的文字，暗示出夢露最後一任丈夫亞瑟‧米勒曾說過的話：「她具備詩人應有的直覺和本能反應，但她缺乏約束。」

 

 

Only parts of us will ever

從來都只有局部的我們
touch only parts of others —

觸動到部分的他人
one’s own truth is just that really — one’s own truth.

自身持守的真相終究是 — 自我的真理罷了
We can only share the part that is understood by within another’s knowing acceptable to

我們只能分享他人所接受的部分
the other — therefore so one

因此個體的絕大部分
is for most part alone.

是孤獨的存在
As it is meant to be in

這意味著
evidently in nature — at best though perhaps it could make

顯然地天性 — 最多也許是
our understanding seek

讓我們得以理解
another’s loneliness out.

尋見他人的孤寂

 

 

Life —
I am of both of your directions
Life
Somehow remaining hanging downward
the most
but strong as a cobweb in the
wind — I exist more with the cold glistening frost.
But my beaded rays have the colors I’ve
seen in a paintings — ah life they
have cheated you

 

 

Oh damn I wish that I were
dead — absolutely nonexistent —
gone away from here — from
everywhere but how would I do it
There is always bridges — the Brooklyn
bridge — no not the Brooklyn Bridge
because But I love that bridge (everything is beautiful from there and the air is so clean) walking it seems
peaceful there even with all those
cars going crazy underneath. So
it would have to be some other bridge
an ugly one and with no view — except
I particularly like in particular all bridges — there’s some-
thing about them and besides these I’ve
never seen an ugly bridge

 

 

feel what I feel
within myself — that is trying to
become aware of it
also what I feel in others
not being ashamed of my feeling, thoughts — or ideas

realize the thing that
they are —

 

 

I’m finding that sincerity
and trying to be as simple or direct as (possible) I’d like
is often taken for sheer stupidity
but since it is not a sincere world —
it’s very probable that being sincere is stupid.
One probably is stupid to
be sincere since it’s in this world
and no other world that we know
for sure we exist — meaning that —
(since reality exists it should be must be dealt should be met and dealt with)
since there is reality to deal with

 

 

I guess I have always been
deeply terrified at to really be someone’s
wife
since I know from life
one cannot love another,
ever, really

 

for life
It is rather a determination not to be overwhelmed

for work
The truth can only be recalled, never invented

 

 

 

書籍資訊：

書名：《Fragments: Poems, Intimate Notes, Letters》

作者：瑪麗蓮夢露（Marilyn Monroe）

出版：Farrar, Straus and Giroux

時間：2010

 

參考報導：Brain Pickings